If this title is a shock to you then you may have missed my first post announcing our good news! 🙂
I'm currently 16 weeks now, but here I'll be recapping weeks 4-12 or 4-13. To be honest, the numbers/weeks confuse me and I don't really know when the first trimester ends haha!
Now, let's get into it...
First Trimester Recap
With my first pregnancy, Will, I somehow managed to (almost) break down each week. It was more for myself than anything. I treated those posts like an online journal for myself so I could look back and remember how things were. Though I obviously had no kids then because wowzers, so much free time haha!
This pregnancy is not any less special but rather than set me up for failure (because I know I can't commit to that many posts), I'm going to stick to recapping the 3 trimesters instead. Sound good?!
I don't need to look back at my old posts to know that this pregnancy has been way tougher than my first. This first trimester I was grumpier, sadder, sicker, and more tired than I ever was with Will.
It was a doozy, folks. And I'll just be real honest with you- I don't love being pregnant. I don't even really like it.
I know that pregnancy is a gift and a blessing and I will never, ever take for granted than I can be pregnant while many other women struggle with infertility. I don't understand why some women can get pregnant and others can't for what seems like no good or clear reason. It also breaks my heart to think of all the women out there struggling with infertility, miscarriages, grief/loss, broken dreams...
So while I don't take this pregnancy for granted, I'm just not someone that enjoys being pregnant. I'm not my happiest, best ever, or most in love with my body when pregnant and that's okay. I know there are more women like me out there, but you don't really hear about this side of pregnancy online. In my opinion, I think it's fear of being thought of as ungrateful and fear of coming across as tone-deaf to the fertility struggles that other women have. So instead, we don't say anything about how we feel, or we heavily sugar coat how amaaazzzinnggg pregnancy is. Then all women out there are expecting this glorious, life awakening experience and feel like something is wrong with them when they don't experience it. To be super honest, I don't even think everyone that talks about how amaaazzzinnggg it is completely feel that way. Once again, just my opinion, but I feel like some women just say that for all of social media because they feel like they have to.
I don't know. Just my thoughts.
And for the women that love being pregnant- I'm really, really happy for you. Honestly!
So overall it was a pretty tough couple of months. I felt very sick almost constantly. Nothing sounded good to me- food, activities, whatever. I had no motivation to do anything, but still had deadlines and responsibilities and jobs. My passion for life left me. And I know that sounds soo dramatic. I hear it!
The bright side is that these months have gone by pretty quickly. I guess being a mom and having a business will do that to you!
Also, I don't want to sound too negative, as good things came out of this too. You know, besides new life! 😉 It's nothing I didn't know before but I loved to be reminded how amazing my husband is! Titus was (and still is) so so sweet to me making sure I felt okay and that I was taken care of at all times.
Will, by watching Titus, started being extra sweet to me as well by cuddling me, giving me kisses, laying with me, covering me with a blanket, giving me his sound machine...I could go on and on.
Who doesn't want to feel super loved and like a queen in their own household? 🙂
And even though I don't love the whole pregnancy part of this, I do look forward to seeing & meeting baby. Will brings so much joy to my life that I think my heart is just going to burst with #2. I don't know if I can handle all the love haha!
I'm feeling optimistic about the 2nd trimester and beyond. My "passion for life" has started to return a little bit and as a creative person, this is what I thrive on haha. And since God gave us this blessing then this is what's best for our family and I'm excited to continue to grow this baby!
How I found out: I found out pretty early by pregnancy test using these. I was "expecting" this baby so no surprise here. I knew before I even had symptoms.
How I told Titus: Showed him the test. Keeping in line with my first pregnancy, I didn't do anything special haha. It's just not my thing and he would rather be told straight out.
His reaction: "I'm very excited but also nervous. I don't know how we'll have the energy to take care of two kids when we're already exhausted with one."
Miss anything: Wine/alcohol (this is just so funny to me because I rarely drank it before.) Feeling like myself.
Food cravings: Cold fruit
Food aversions: Nothing in particular. What sounded good or bad to me would change by the day or even hour. One time we got pulled pork and I thought it smelled like dog food. The next morning it smelled really good to me. Ah, pregnancy!
Mood: Off and different. Not myself. Moody and a little sad. Oh, and then mad for no reason haha!
Sleep: Not great. But who said it's ever supposed to be? 😉
Queasy or sick: Yes and yes haha. Very sensitive to smells
Highs: Cousin time, family vacation, fun blog projects to keep my mind busy, hitting business goals despite feeling like I didn't do much, general family time
Lows: The general bummers of pregnancy
Looking forward to: Feeling better